SAA in Chicagoland
Is SAA for me?
Our primary purpose is to stop our addictive sexual behavior and to help others recover from sexual addiction.
Recovery was possible for most of us only when we accepted the fact that we were powerless over our addictive sexual behavior and that we were incapable of changing without help from outside ourselves. Many of us came to this realization when we started attending SAA meetings. In that setting we heard stories similar to ours and realized that recovery from our malady was possible.
We learned through the SAA Fellowship that we were not hopelessly defective.
Am I a sex addict?
Sex addiction can take many different forms. Below is a quote from the Sex Addicts Anonymous text that explains what sex addiction can look like:
We acted out in many different ways. Sometimes we had trouble with one unwanted behavior, sometimes with many. We struggled with promiscuity; anonymous sex; compulsive masturbation; destructive relationships; romantic obsession; infidelity; obsessive fantasizing; excessive fear or avoidance of sex; prostitution or use of prostitutes; compulsive cross-dressing; phone sex; voyeurism, exhibitionism; sex in public places; inappropriate touching; sexual assault or molestation; bestiality; or other behaviors that involve risk to ourselves - physical, legal, emotional, or spiritual - and harm to others. These are only examples of acting out. There are many more. The common thread among all of these behaviors for us as sex addicts is that we engaged in them compulsively, our willpower was helpless against them, and they had negative, painful effects. It didn’t matter if others appeared to do the same behaviors without ill effect. We could not engage in them without consequence.
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 4
What are meetings?
In meetings, we share our struggles and the tools that we’ve used to help us recover from our addiction.
We practice strict anonymity and confidentiality, so that our meetings are a safe place for all of us. Whom we meet or what is said in a meeting is considered as confidential.
Our fellowship is open to people of all genders, regardless of age, race, religion, ethnic background, marital status, or occupation. We welcome members of any sexual identity or orientation, whether they are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, or transgender.
What is Twelve Step?
The Twelve Steps were originally created by Bill W, Dr. Bob, and the founding members of Alcoholics Anonymous. Although there is no organizational affiliation between Alcoholics Anonymous and Sex Addicts Anonymous, we are based on the principles of AA. The Twelve Steps were created to help those suffering from addiction to find spiritual peace, peace with themselves, and peace with others. The steps use simple, practical exercises to help us to explore and unpack the behaviors and beliefs in our lives that have kept us mired in addiction. Although some of the steps mention “God”, neither the Twelve Steps nor Sex Addicts Anonymous requires its members to believe in any specific god, religious dogma, nor any religion at all. Even members who identify as atheist or agnostic can find recovery from addiction using the Twelve Steps with the help of a sponsor.
What is a sponsor?
Sponsors are fellow addicts who have worked the steps, who we ask to help guide us through the steps in the same way they did. They do not have any authority over you or others in the program. They offer support and guidance through shared experience.
What does sobriety mean in SAA?
Our goal when entering the SAA Program is abstinence from one or more specific sexual behaviors. But unlike programs for recovering alcoholics or drug addicts, Sex Addicts Anonymous does not have a universal definition of abstinence. Most of us have no desire to stop being sexual altogether. It is not sex in and of itself that causes us problems, but the addiction to certain sexual behaviors. In SAA we will be better able to determine what behavior is addictive and what is healthy. However, the fellowship does not dictate to its members what is and isn’t addictive sexual behavior. Instead, we have found that it is necessary for each member to define their own abstinence.
Since different addicts suffer from different behaviors, and since our sexuality is experienced in so many different ways, it is necessary that SAA members define for themselves, with the help of their sponsors or others in recovery, which of their sexual behaviors they consider to be “acting out”.
This can be a difficult challenge. If we are too lenient with ourselves, we might not get sober. If we are too strict, we might restrict ourselves from healthy behaviors that we have no need to give up, and an inability to meet our high standards could set us up for relapse. We need the help of other recovering sex addicts, and the reliance on a Power greater than ourselves, to find the right balance between these two extremes. Our program acknowledges each individual’s dignity and right to choose their own concept of healthy sexuality. We have learned that our ideas of what is healthy and what is addictive evolve with experience. In time, we are able to define our individual abstinence with honesty, fairness, and gentleness. This process is a valuable exercise in our recovery. It requires us to carefully examine all of our sexual behaviors, decide which ones are healthy or addictive, and note those cases where we’re not sure. It is a way of taking stock.
Taken from the Abstinence Statement of Sex Addicts Anonymous